


lost and found

by kiholove



Series: misc. kiho fics [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9567593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiholove/pseuds/kiholove
Summary: Kihyun wonders what it all could mean.





	

Kihyun turns off the water in the shower and sighs in content as silence settles over the bathroom. He opens the shower curtain, reaches for a towel, and starts lazily drying off, his whole body heavy with exhaustion from the long day of practice. All he can think about is his bed: the freshly cleaned sheets, the warm blanket, the soft pillow, all just lying there, waiting for him, ready to embrace him and carry him away into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

He had been the last one in the shower for the night, so the water hadn't even been hot, but it didn't matter. The combination of the steady stream of water and the light, sweet scent of soap had relaxed all of his muscles and now, Kihyun's ready to collapse. 

He dresses in an oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts before opening the bathroom door as quietly as possible. Lights are still on all over the dorm and he can hear chatter coming from the bedrooms, so he knows that the others are still awake, but he can't help but try to hide his presence anyway, cherishing the precious solitude that comes so rarely in a dorm housing seven boys. He heads to the kitchen for a glass of water, his hair still dripping wet, water droplets falling onto his t-shirt and down the back of his neck. 

Kihyun is so dazed that he nearly walks right into Hoseok, who's coming from the living room into the hallway. Both of them gasp and then burst into laughter. 

"Sorry," Kihyun says as their laughter dies down, "I should watch where I'm going." 

"Don't worry about it," Hoseok replies, "It's not like I was watching either. 'Night Kihyunnie." Hoseok smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He shoves his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie and moves past Kihyun into the hallway. Kihyun frowns. 

"Hey," Kihyun says, "are you alright?" 

"Yeah, of course," Hoseok replies. He turns to go into the bathroom, but hesitates in the doorway. "Actually," he says, turning back to face Kihyun, "I just...well..." He sighs, and turns away again. "Never mind, it's stupid." 

"No it's not," Kihyun says. "What's wrong?" 

Hoseok looks down, starts playing with his hands. His voice goes low and quiet. 

"A fan gave me this really cute bracelet the other day," he says. "I took it off to shower and now...I can't find it." He pouts and Kihyun can't help but chuckle. 

"I see," Kihyun says. "Well...why don't you show me where you took it off, and maybe I can help you find it?" 

"Over here," Hoseok says, leading Kihyun back into the living room, "but I've already looked everywhere. I think it's really gone." 

Walking past Hoseok, Kihyun heads straight for the TV stand, checking carefully along all of the shelves. Then, he looks through the clutter on the tabletop, clutter that always seems to magically reappear (no matter how many times Kihyun cleans it up) whenever Minhyuk or Hyungwon spend any time in the room. 

With no success, he goes over to the sofa and checks between the cushions, then underneath the pile of blankets that they keep there for movie nights and video game marathons. Finally, he drops to his hands and knees to check the space underneath the couch. 

Within three seconds, he spots a small object nestled inside a ball of dust. 

_I really need to clean up down here_ , Kihyun thinks. He grimaces as he reaches his hand underneath the couch to retrieve the object. 

Grinning triumphantly, Kihyun stands up, dusts himself off, and holds out the object in his palm. It's a thin, delicate, silver bracelet with a small cartoon bunny charm nestled in between two pearlescent beads. He cleans off the dust with the bottom of his shirt and gives it a better look. Hoseok was right, it's _really_ cute. 

Kihyun walks back to Hoseok and fastens the bracelet onto his wrist. "There," he says, playfully patting Hoseok's arm. 

Hoseok doesn't say anything, just looks down at the bracelet with a blank expression. It's strange, because the silences between them are usually comfortable and relaxed, but right now, something feels very off. Kihyun's stomach drops when he sees something dark pass through Hoseok's eyes. 

Suddenly, Hoseok's face crumples. He brings trembling hands up to cover his eyes and Kihyun is startled to see tears already leaking through the spaces between his fingers. 

Kihyun's brain has stopped working but his body acts automatically, pulling Hoseok close and wrapping his arms around Hoseok's back. He rubs his hands up and down in slow, steady movements as Hoseok trembles, then buries his face into Kihyun's shoulder, his arms dropping to his sides. 

"I can't do anything right, can I..." Hoseok says, voice thick and wet. 

"You know that's not true," Kihyun murmurs, his chest burning painfully. 

Hoseok winds his arms around Kihyun's waist and squeezes tightly. They're pressed so close together that Kihyun can feel every shaky breath in Hoseok's lungs. Kihyun's eyes sting as he struggles to keep it together at the sound of Hoseok's sobs, the abruptness of it all leaving him shocked and confused and terribly, terribly sad. 

They stay like that for a while, everything around them fading into the background. Eventually, Hoseok begins to calm down and his tears are reduced to sniffles. 

"I'm pathetic," he says, still tightly wound around Kihyun. 

"No you're not," Kihyun replies. "You're just tired. It's been a long day." 

Kihyun pulls back from Hoseok and takes Hoseok's face between his hands. His thumbs trace the tear tracks, which have started to dry, but Hoseok won't meet his gaze. 

Before the rational part of his brain can tell him to stop, Kihyun stands on his toes and kisses Hoseok on the forehead, lightly, barely even a brush of his lips. He lowers back down to his feet and kisses Hoseok's cheeks, a little more firmly this time. He kisses all over Hoseok's face, can't stop kissing him, light presses everywhere he can reach, except, of course, for that one crucial place, that one dangerous place from which there would be no coming back.

Hoseok is completely still in Kihyun's hands and Kihyun worries that he's crossed a line. Not just any line, but _the_ line, the one between him and Hoseok, the one that Kihyun always pretends not to notice or think about, the one that seems to be more and more blurred as time goes on. But then, Hoseok's eyes meet Kihyun's, and they're wide and bright and sparkling with something that Kihyun is afraid to give a name to.

"We should get to bed," Kihyun says, his voice a whisper. Kihyun lowers his hands from Hoseok's face. As Kihyun pulls away from him, Hoseok's fingers linger on Kihyun's waist for just a moment too long.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok says, looking down.

"Stop saying that," Kihyun replies. He takes Hoseok's hand and leads him back to the hallway toward the bathroom, where they part. Kihyun heads for their bedroom and opens the door quietly, mindful of Hyunwoo and Hyungwon who have, by now, turned off all of the lights in the room and fallen asleep. He steps inside and makes his way up the ladder to his bunk.

Kihyun lies there for what feels like hours. His entire body is begging for sleep, but he forces his eyes to stay open. Finally, he hears the sound of the door to the bedroom opening and he holds his breath, listening with all of his might. He hears Hoseok close the door behind him with a soft click, make his way to his own bunk underneath Kihyun's, pull back the covers of his blanket, and crawl into his bed, the mattress squeaking slightly under his weight.

Kihyun waits a few moments and then rolls over onto his side, facing the edge of the bunk. He reaches an arm down carefully over the edge, doing his best to stay balanced so that he doesn't fall off. Then, he opens his hand in the space between the bottom of his bunk and Hoseok's and waits. 

It's something that they used to do as trainees. Not always on bunk beds, not always in the dark, but they were always reaching for each other. Kihyun vividly remembers reaching his hand out for Hoseok's on that final No.Mercy stage, Hoseok taking it and squeezing lightly.

Kihyun waits, and waits, and waits, blood starting to pool in his fingertips as his hand hangs there. He wiggles his fingers, wondering if perhaps Hoseok has already fallen asleep.

But then, Kihyun feels it, feels Hoseok reaching up and grasping Kihyun's hand in his own. It's only for a second, but Kihyun can't help but smile.

They're both there and both there for each other, just like always.


End file.
